Annie’s parents came to Christ in Malaysia, then moved to Australia where they took their kids to church to learn about the gospel that had transformed their lives.
“There was never a day that I didn’t believe God was real,” Annie says. “I’m thankful to have grown up knowing him, learning about him and being involved in church. It was a really joyful time.”
Growing Up as ‘The Good Girl’
Growing up, Annie was someone who always worked hard to do the right thing.
“I put all my effort into trying to be the nicest one,” she says. “I was taught to be kind, friendly, obedient… It became a huge part of how I tried to shape myself and the image others had of me as ‘the good girl’.”
By her teenage years, trying to control how others saw her left her drained and empty.
“It made me question who actually loved me for who I was, and not just what I could offer.”
“God showed me that he is the one who is with me all the time – who loves me for who I am, not what I can offer, because of Jesus”
During this time, Annie found strength in Hebrews 13:5-6: “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’”
With this comforting truth and the support of her church community, Annie learned to let go of a false sense of control and hold onto her true identity in Christ.
“God showed me that he is the one who is with me all the time – who loves me for who I am, not what I can offer, because of Jesus. It gave me a greater sense of joy, security and purpose in following him.”
A Conviction for Mission
After graduating from high school, Annie studied teaching at the University of Sydney. It was there she joined the EU (Evangelical Union) and heard a missionary speak about serving in Japan.
“It was the first time I’d understood that there are places in the world that don’t have access to the gospel or gospel resources,” she says.
The visiting missionary challenged students to consider how their personality, gifts and opportunities could be used by God for building his kingdom.
“I thought, well, I learned Japanese in high school, I have an interest in the country, I have an English teaching background, and I’m a Christian who has the gospel. Maybe God could do something with that.”
“It was the first time I’d understood that there are places in the world that don’t have access to the gospel or gospel resources.”
With her eyes set on the gospel need in front of her, Annie began to seriously explore what it might look like to serve as a missionary in Japan. But it involved wrestling through the cost of leaving friends and family, the possibility of loneliness, and the struggle of navigating another language and culture – let alone doing ministry in it.
“It was, and still is, really difficult. But I knew and I trusted that if this is where I can serve God best, and if this is where God can use me, then he will provide me with what I need.”
As Annie approached the end of university, she created a 10-year plan towards becoming a missionary, including gaining experience as a teacher, completing practical ministry training and then undertaking theological study.
Growing at SMBC
After completing a ministry traineeship, Annie started looking for a theological college that could help prepare her for serving God overseas. She did her research and found SMBC was a good fit.
“It’s in the name, right? ‘Sydney Missionary and Bible College.’ It stood out as a great place to train for mission. If that was the direction I was heading in, then it was a bit of a no-brainer,” she explains.
Annie appreciated the flexible study options and the interdenominational nature of the college, saying, “I liked that at SMBC there’s a real focus on community, and opportunities to learn, pray and walk alongside people who are different to you, yet united in Christ.”
“I liked that at SMBC there’s a real focus on community, and opportunities to learn, pray and walk alongside people who are different to you, yet united in Christ.”
Initially nervous about the demands of studying at a theological college, Annie soon found her faith being enriched in ways she hadn’t expected as she engaged with God’s Word with others and heard from missionaries serving around the world.
“My assumption was that Bible college was all about heavy, abstract theology, and I initially felt unfit to come. But it surprised me how accessible it was,” Annie says.
“I appreciated starting with learning about the New Testament and Old Testament, and revisiting familiar passages that I’d grown up with, but with a depth and breadth I hadn’t accessed in other contexts.”
“I’ve enjoyed seeing how the different aspects of the Bible and the Christian life that we learn about are so integrated.”
There have also been more challenging moments at college where Annie’s understanding of God – and her own identity – have been stretched.
“Everything that I’d known feels like it’s been deepened and challenged and refined,” she says.
“Everything that I’d known feels like it’s been deepened and challenged and refined.”
“It’s been a really rich experience, and not just in a head-knowledge way. I walk out of every lecture feeling like I’d just heard a sermon. It’s very pastoral, and I can see how what I’m learning could apply to my life, the decisions I make, my character and my relationships.”
“I thought I knew myself and my skillsets… but being at college, I’m discovering new aspects of my personality, gifts and opportunities, and new ways of thinking about mission. So I’m having to ask again, ‘what could God do with all this?’”
Trusting the Future to God
SMBC is giving Annie time to exercise the missionary muscle of trusting God in the uncertainty of what’s around the corner.
“I’ve been challenged to think about whether I was holding on too tightly to this pathway that I’d drawn out for myself,” Annie explains.
“I’ve had to learn to surrender my plans to him, like it says in Proverbs; to be okay with not knowing what’s next.”
“I’ve had to learn to surrender my plans to him, like it says in Proverbs; to be okay with not knowing what’s next.”
As she continues her studies, Annie says she is focusing less on her own plans and more on the certainty of her identity, freedom and future in Christ.
“He is much bigger than my plans, thankfully,” she says. “He can use whatever decision I make for his glory.”
For Those Pursuing Mission
Reflecting on all she’s learned so far, Annie has some wisdom to share for anyone considering theological study or mission.
“The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. So there is a real need for people to bring the gospel to the lost.
“But I think, at times, I can take that in the wrong direction. Obedience gets blurred with obligation, and sometimes it feels too heavy a burden, to the point that I’m consumed by fear and reluctance. Don’t be motivated by obligation, but recognise that being part of His mission is a huge privilege, and that we have freedom in what part we play.
“Don’t be motivated by obligation, but recognise that being part of His mission is a huge privilege, and that we have freedom in what part we play.”
“I used to say we get ‘front-row seats’ to what God is doing, but now I think about it more like ‘audience participation’. God invites us to join him in his mission. So we can rest in knowing that he is the one at work, and that he delights to use his people.
“Still, make plans. If we don’t make plans, it’s easy to plateau – to lose sight of the goal, the conviction, the horizon. Keep growing and taking steps in a particular direction, but also take comfort that we also have freedom to change our plans, under him.
“And keep coming back to God’s faithfulness. That doesn’t change, no matter what our decisions are. Our God is the same God who helped the Israelites through the desert, who raised Jesus from the dead, and who is with us and at work in us now by his Spirit.”
